Traditions Can Define Us
As we round the corner for Christmas, I wanted to share a few thoughts on a longstanding Holiday Tradition that has been part of my life for the last 42 years: The Lazzati Christmas Card.
My in-laws, Jimmy and Rosemary Lazzati, started a tradition of a family Christmas Card in 1955 that has now spanned 69 years. They eventually had ten children: “Jimmy, Virginia, Mary, Dodie, Joanie, Margie, Joey, Johnny, Philip, and Paul,” often said as one word, like the alphabet.
I entered the picture, literally, in 1982, after Margie and I were married. At that time, between 1500 and 2000 cards were mailed a year. As I went to events in Baltimore thereafter, I became vaguely familiar with more and more people.
The annual fall migration to take the picture has become increasingly challenging. It can be difficult to pick a date to gather that would work for everyone, or at least as many as possible. However, the gathering afterward was like another Thanksgiving (if it wasn’t already Thanksgiving).
The day of the picture is less frantic for us than it once was, as our children are adults. Prepping all the outfits for the little children and keeping their attention on the photographer caused some tense moments for us. Carrying forward a Christmas Tradition is a unique obligation and expectation. Ask Tevye, Tradition connects and binds us.
Our matriarch, Rosemary, died in 2022, and our Father-in-law, Jimmy, died in 2007. We have carried on with an effort of 70 years. It is a chance for the family to gather, laugh, and remember, which seems especially fitting in November.
We have forged on. We have also lost siblings Joan and John since then—today’s remaining children, along with accumulated spouses, significant others, and grandchildren, total 39.
Brother Jimmy sends a large set of cards to relatives in Italy and visits them yearly, keeping the Christmas tradition of the card and its many family connections active.
As an estate planning attorney, I work with people to review their lives and what matters to them. In the end, for most people I talk to, life all comes down to their relationships. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly go there when people are involved. When I look at these past Christmas Cards at one time, it is a bittersweet walk down memory lane, reminding me undeniably of my aging and the joy of our family’s growth and changes.
This year, those who could gathered together last weekend to take the picture. That presented its own challenges to carrying on our tradition, but better done than perfect. This year, we collected pictures. Those with conflicting schedules can submit them to be included on a collective family card.
I am sure you have your own holiday tradition (Christmas or another holiday that you celebrate), your version of the Lazzati Christmas Card, seeped in good and bad memories, and that is ultimately about relationships. Your traditions will require adjustments as time marches on.
Please stay safe and do what you can to simplify this forced time.
We wish you a blessed, safe Christmas and a hope-filled 2024.
